How to confuse your guides

9 Fool proof Ways to Confuse Your Spiritual Guides

(And how to stop them facepalming every hour of the day)

Ever wonder why your spiritual guides seem suspiciously quiet? Maybe they’re not ignoring you but trying to get through to you or get off your latest trainwreck still unfolding in slow motion.

Here’s how to confuse them completely… and what to do if you’d rather have them on your side.

1. See signs everywhere

From the shape of your cereal to the number of pigeons on a wire you see  cosmic signs winking at you.

➡️Yes, signs are real, but not every coffee stain is a message from above. If you’re decoding more than you’re doing, step away from the cereal bowl and start living life on the lighter side.

2. Be so open-minded your brain falls out

Try every internet cure, from moon water to oxygen diet. Follow every post that starts with “They don’t want you to know this…”

➡️ Open-mindedness is gold as long as you bring a sieve. Test things for yourself and find out that true wisdom stands the test of time, expanding your perspectives.

3. Ignore repeating numbers, feathers, and coins.

Because obviously, anything that’s not peer-reviewed must be nonsense.

➡️ Scepticism keeps you sane, but cynicism locks away the door to wonder. Be curious! The world is full of metaphors, and it’s up to you to see them.

4. Mistake your gut instinct for IBS

Everything you feel must be digestion, right? Right.

➡️ Your intuition and your guts are pen pals. Stress, fear, excitement - they all use the same gut-brain line. Learn to read the tone, not just the symptoms.

5. Fuel your days with caffeine and energy drinks to keep up

Coffee to power up, sleeping pills to power down - your circadian rhythm has trust issues now.

➡️  Energy drinks won’t fuel enlightenment. Balance your input: sunlight, movement, rest, and a bit of actual silence. Your guides prefer clarity over caffeine.

6. Make chores the priority of your waking hours

Because who needs peace when you can alphabetise your spice rack? 

➡️ Clean spaces can calm the mind, but life isn’t meant to be a never-ending to-do list. Sometimes the spiritual path is taking the day off.

7. Wonder why your life is so difficult

 You overwork, under-rest, and call it “being responsible.”

➡️ Life lightens up when you do. Gratitude, humour, and saying “no” are all spiritual hygiene. You’re not here to suffer beautifully; you’re here to live fully!

8. Demand signs, then ignore them

Ask for help, then walk past every hint like a cosmic scavenger hunt without a clue.

➡️ If you want guidance, you have to recognise it. The universe doesn’t use megaphones; it prefers patterns, timing, and nudges you’ll feel if you slow down enough to notice.

9. Take life so seriously joy needs a permission slip

Enlightenment isn’t hard; nobody ever ascended by furrowing their brow harder.

➡️ Humour is a spiritual shortcut. Laugh, play, mess up, learn. Joy expands awareness faster than any mantra, and it’s free!

Final thoughts

Your guides just need you to be present; life’s supposed to be a conversation, not a lecture. Listen, laugh, and maybe stop looking for signs in your breakfast or the number plate of every passing car 😉

Balance is the real secret sauce. The universe is whispering through patterns and numbers, not through anyone's anxious thoughts.

That’s exactly what Expanded Numerology helps you decode. Each number, hour, and pathway shows where you’re going too far or not enough - whether you’re lost in mystical overdrive or stuck in practical autopilot. It helps you find that sweet middle ground where intuition meets intelligence, signs are practical, and guidance is easy to follow.